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Confession



I need therapy.  I admit it.  Every day I am reminded that I cannot do life on my own.  I am not strong enough.  I have believed lies, been wounded in the battle for my soul, and encountered grief deeper than my ability to cope.
 

This realization has been heavy on my heart lately, as more and more things in life have gone wrong, as more and more battles have been to the death, threatening the lives of young hearts and lives with so much potential. 

And it is in these moments that God has brought to remembrance a Scripture I’ve known for years, but never fully appreciated – Isaiah 9:6.  It says:
“For to us a child is born, to us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father [of Eternity], Prince of Peace.”

I love that it begins by saying the government – the weight of responsibility, decision making and leadership – rests on His shoulders.  It’s not mine to carry or be crushed beneath.  It’s His.  He protects us from it.  I am not saying that we do not have responsibilities in this life, but I am saying that those who trust Him are not responsible for carrying the weight of it, the stress, the pain of it on their own. 

And then, Isaiah 9:6 goes on, whispers deeper comfort.  It tells us that He is our Wonderful Counselor – and my hearts sighs with relief.  A Counselor, someone to talk to, to trust – that is our God.  He is the Counselor who listens to us, who cares for us, and unlike so many people in our lives who ask us how we are without really caring about the answer, He’s a good listener.  Psalm 22:24, in the Message paraphrase, says, “He has never let you down, never looked the other way when you were being kicked around.  He has never wandered off to do His own thing; he has been right there, listening.”  I love that.  He’s there in the middle of the pain, aware of what’s happening, listening to us, hurting with us, ready to help. 

And because He’s there, He is deeply aware of the wounds we have suffered and left untreated, the hurts that have lied to us about who we are and what we are worth.  Like a Great Counselor, he points us to the unresolved pain in our past, the things that like gaping wounds are sabotaging our ability to cope and form healthy relationships with those around us, to walk  in the fullness of His calling.  And like any great doctor, He longs to heal us, but He cannot do it without our permission.  Isaiah 1:5-6 points to this.  He says of us, “Your whole head and heart are already sick and aching.  From the bottom of your feet to the top of your head, every part of your body has wounds, cuts, and open sores.  You have not taken care of them.  Your wounds have not been cleaned and bandaged.”[1]  Notice He does not promise to heal what we do not release to Him.  He only points it out and waits … to see what you will allow Him to do.  So what lies have you believed?  What hurts are you still carrying around, gaping and painful?  Are they things like this?  Do you believe:
·         I am not enough and simultaneously too much for anyone to love.
·         The dreams of my heart are impossible and scary, and if I tell anyone, they’ll think I am scary and impossible.
·         If I trust anyone enough to let them close, I will only have to say good-bye to them, so it’s better to keep them at arms’ length. 
·         What I can do for people is more important than who I can be for them.

If so, it is important for you to know that is not true of you.  It’s not true of me either.  There is pain in this life; don’t get me wrong.  Things are not as they should be – of course.  This is a fallen world, and we who are mighty in the Spirit yearn for something more, which will always bring a sort of heartache and pain.  But we can live in the freedom of who God designed us to be.  We can live without the wounds we have carried – if we let Him restore us.

In trusting Him to heal us, however, we are also going to have to trust Him to break down the defenses we have built to keep Him out.  In Isaiah 22, God talks to us about the walls we built, the pools and moats we used to keep people out.  And in verse 11, He says, “You did all this to protect yourselves, but you did not trust the God who made all these things …” The walls we have built – walls of pride, intellectual prowess, cowardice, and isolation – show an astonishing lack of faith in the God who called us, who created us, who destined us for great things.  Have we forgotten who we are?  Who He is?  Have we forgotten who delivered us?  Who is willing to heal us, to set us free?  Quit protecting yourself from freedom, from love, from all that He is offering us and let Him up!  (I can say that so forcefully because I am saying it to myself as well.)   

And once our defense mechanisms are gone, we have to do the scariest thing of all – we have to quit hiding.  It is vulnerable to stand without walls, to stand honestly before God and before the people in our lives.  So instead, we have contrived a million ways to hide.  We hide behind our work, behind our anger, behind our education, behind our busyness.  But Proverbs 14:13 warns us.  It says, “Laughter might hide your sadness.  But when the laughter is gone, the sadness remains.”[2]  The pain behind our hiding doesn’t go away because we pretend, because we deaden ourselves to what we’re feeling, because we hope no one will no notice the pain behind our smile.  We may think it means nothing to hide our pain from the world.  We are simply being self-sufficient, not wanting to be a burden to those around us.  However, the more we hide from others, the less we share with others.  If we hide our pain, we can’t truly share our joy, as Psalm 40:10 hints at.  In the ERV Bible, it says, “I told about the good things you did.  I did not hide these things in my heart.  I spoke of how you can be trusted to save us.  I did not hide your love and loyalty from those in the great assembly.”  You see, we have to let ourselves share our pain before we can share God’s victories. 

Let God counsel you.  Let His wisdom wash over you.  Open yourselves up before Him.  Let Him revisit the painful places.  Let Him heal.  And then share what He is healing … so you can have freedom.  So you can be a greater witness to His might and power.  So that You can live in the freedom and fullness of His calling for you.  Relish it. 


[1] ERV
[2] ERV

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